I learned a valuable lesson today: Know how your kids play online and be available to guide them in having good manners and conduct in the virtual world.
Today, my son found out that the VIP membership for one of his favorite Minecraft servers was on sale at 50% off. He immediately asked if he could buy it. After we counted his money which was just enough, I said yes. (Since he’s too young to have his own credit card or Paypal account, I do the online purchases for him.)
As soon as I had made the purchase, I asked him to try logging into that server to see if he has received the VIP status. I was surprised when he said be couldn’t log in.
After some investigation in that servers’s forums and terms, I learned that:
a) my son was banned from that server a few months ago for impersonation,
b) impersonation is a non-reversible ban,
c) buying VIP membership has no bearing on banned status, and
d) all sales are non-refundable.
I felt bad for my son because after he had spent all of his remaining money, it turned out that he couldn’t join this server. Still, I had to let him feel bad about it so he learns that it was his inappropriate behavior during the game that caused him to be banned permanently. I told him that even though people can’t see you or don’t know you online, it doesn’t excuse you from following rules and behaving well.
There is also a big lesson here for me. Since I usually hear and see him when he’s playing Minecraft and I talk to him when I notice inappropriate behavior, I had assumed that by now he already knew how to properly behave when online. I had also assumed that I didn’t really need to understand how these servers and online multiplayer games work (also, admittedly I wasn’t interested since I don’t play online games).
My lesson for today: I should know not only what my child plays online. I should know how he plays and who he plays with. In the same way that I talk to him about how to behave with other people in the playground, I should also talk with him about proper behavior in a virtual playground. After all, manners are manners wherever you may be.