A few days ago, I had just come home from a whirlwind trip, a 5-day visit to Manila that was made mainly for my family to be present at two very important events: my mother-in-law’s 70th birthday and my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Because it was going to be a short visit, my husband and I had planned to make the most of our time there. On the two full days apart from the big family events, we had scheduled necessary errands and more intimate meals with immediate family. So for every single day, we were out and about, meeting with people, walking around malls and going to cafés, driving in traffic and in the summer heat. (My son had one “day-off” and stayed home at my parents’ place while my husband and I did errands and had a few meetups.)
It was a short and sweet trip. Lots of lovely new family memories were made. No jet lag or obvious physical stress or fatigue to speak of. And yet, during the first two days after we had gotten back to Singapore, I was surprised to find myself exhausted physically and mentally. I knew that I had to get some groceries, do the laundry, clean the house, etc., but I secretly, guiltily wanted to just crawl into bed and read a book until I fell asleep.
Decompress. It hit me on that first morning back that I needed to decompress from the past five days of almost non-stop talking, listening, eating, doing, thinking, coming, going. This middle-aged introverted mom was spent after five straight days of being out of routine, out of her comfort zone, out of her quiet little shell.
During those first two post-trip days, I gave myself permission to stay home (except for going to the grocery next door because that errand isn’t only a necessity but also a happy solo endeavor), to not yet reach out and tell friends that I’m back, to focus on replenishing my social battery and fortifying my spirit with some solitude and silence.
It’s the third day since we’ve been back and I feel much better, back to my new normal and ready to socialize again. I’ve no regrets about making that trip because it meant that I was able to celebrate those momentous occasions with my loved ones. I’ve learned a valuable lesson: even or especially during compressed times away from home, when I expect to be running a high-stakes sprint rather than a slow-and-steady marathon, I need to find ways to rest and replenish. A few minutes of prayer, a few pages of bedtime reading, a short stroll around the neighborhood — small and quiet moments that can help this middle-aged introverted mother from shutting down.
And after all the hustle and bustle, the excitement and stress of travel of any nature or length of time, I will give myself permission to retreat into my sacred spaces. Without guilt or shame. With kindness and love. Trusting that I will be the better for it.