I attended my very first yoga class in 2014. My husband and I tried out a beginner’s class at a neighbor’s house in our village in Manila. We did it for a few weeks, sweating and stretching with six to ten neighbors for about one and a half hours every Saturday. Our teacher was great – showing us how to pose, nudging us here and there when needed, soothing us with her calm voice when it was time for Savasana pose at the end of class.
Eventually, life happened and my husband and I stopped going to class. You know, the kids had weekend activities all over the place, we had get-togethers with family or friends, the dog needed a bath, the car needed washing, etc. My husband later on signed up for a yoga class near his office; he figured that he could better fit it into his weekday schedule. I, on the other hand, wasn’t willing to drive outside our village every week to do a class, so I took a break.
Sometime in 2015, perhaps a few months since my last session, a friend recommended to me a free, online yoga class – Erin Motz’s Original 30-day Yoga Challenge. I signed up for it, invested in a good midrange yoga mat (which I’m using till this day!) and I was ready to go. It took me 30 x 3 days, more or less, but I did it! Through the course of the challenge, l realized that I like yoga and I like Erin Motz’s teaching style and philosophy.
Since her original yoga challenge , Erin Motz has launched her own brand of yoga – Bad Yogi. On and off (yeah, life still happens) within the past three years and since moving back to Singapore in 2016, I’ve completed two of her programs: Perfect Body Yoga Program (PBYP) and PBYP Resolution. I still can’t do Crow Pose and I still think lunges and burpees are punishment, but I am grateful to be a Bad Yogi.
Bad Yogi is about progress. One of the things that Erin would repeatedly say in her classes is that “a little shakiness is ok.” To me, it’s an assurance that I’m doing ok, no matter how strong or weak I’m feeling on the mat that day, and no matter what poses I am able to do or not do at that time. It means that I should see the struggle as a valuable part of the process and of the progress.
Bad Yogi is about purpose. In the PBYP Resolution program, I’m asked to write out my why — my purpose for getting on the mat every day of that week. During the meditation parts of class, Erin would ask, “What’s your why?” Sometimes I would quickly answer in my head, “I’m here today because I find strength and self-love during yoga” or “I want to be stronger for my family.” At other times, my mind draws a blank, I take a few deep breaths, then I remember that finding quiet and emptiness is also a purpose. Whatever thoughts that serve me, I breathe in. Whatever thoughts that don’t, I breathe out.
Bad Yogi is personal. The main goal of the Perfect Body Yoga Program isn’t to work my body into a perfectly shaped and sculpted Instagram or bikini-body version. It’s about “finding the healthiest version of the body you already have.” I love how Bad Yogi gives me ways to personalize my goals and my practice. I love that Erin says and shows how to modify poses as needed, to make them gentler or harder, without judgment or prejudice. I love that in the online PBYP community, members speak kindly and support one another in their yoga struggles, in their NSVs (non-scale victories) and even or especially in their NYR (non-yoga-related) ups and downs. (An unexpected perk for me is learning these online terms through this community.)
Bad Yogi is possible. Some classes are completely free, others are part of paid but affordable programs that you purchase once and are given lifetime access. All I needed to start my yoga practice were a computer (a mobile device can work too), a decent internet connection, a solid yoga mat, a small quiet space and 30 minutes in a day. Eventually, I got fancy and bought two workout tank tops (on sale for about S$15), a pair of pants, and a yoga mat towel. Ergo, yoga doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. My introverted self loves how I can practice yoga in the privacy of my own home and in my own time, away from the eyes of strangers and free from the tasks of commuting and schedule-chasing. Most importantly, I love that Bad Yogi is for everyone and anyone who wants to practice yoga regardless of their yoga knowledge and expertise, their body shape and size, their diet and beauty beliefs, their race or religion, their location or situation. It is a practice and a community of kindness and compassion, of mental and physical strength, of acceptance and possibility.
Yoga has been a shaky but strengthening journey for me, and Bad Yogi has been my steady companion. On this International Day of Yoga, 21 June 2019, I say cheers and thank you to Erin Motz and to the Bad Yogis and PB (Perfect Body, a.k.a. Peanut Butter) Yogis everywhere. And to the yogis, yoginis and yoga supporters all around the world, namaste.